News Ticker

Michael Douglas: A Clerihew

Catherine Zeta-Jones married Michael Douglas in November 2000.
Catherine Zeta-Jones married Michael Douglas in November 2000.

Catherine Zeta-Jones married Michael Douglas in November 2000.

To help celebrate Michael Douglas’ discovery, announced in yesterday’s Guardian, that throat cancer is caused – and cured – by cunnilingus, we offer this cautionary and terrible clerihew:

michael douglas

loved cunnilingus.

cunnilingually-caused complications came close to killing the orally-committed  romancer

until – in a miraculous (and not previously suspected) cure –  its continuance curbed the cancer.

The best bit of the interview is where Douglas explains how oral sex also cures (as the clerihew explains) the cancer it gives:

He shrugs. “And if you have it, cunnilingus is also the best cure for it.”

Right, I say. OK. So what he is suggesting is that it all evens out? “That’s right,” says Douglas. “It giveth and it taketh.”

Update, August 2013 – In another, sadder instance of give and take, the Douglases have announced their separation. Ill health, on both sides, is cited as a factor.

Advertisements

1 Comment on Michael Douglas: A Clerihew

  1. fR. Allingtom // June 11, 2013 at 7:30 pm // Reply

    Unerringly hilarious to read about the deluded medical expertise of Hollywood stars…

    Even more so when expressed in an effortlessly clinical, casually cruel clerihew!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: